The Eucharistic Understanding of Marriage

An excellent book that tackles marriage from a historical perspective and ties in many issues in our modern time that couples face in marriage. 

The paradigm (starting point) of Marriage is Christ. And if Christ is the starting point off Marriage that brings us together in the anticipation of the kingdom then marriage is connected to the Eucharist. The difference between a "secular" marriage and a "christian" marriage is the Eucharist. It is through the Eucharist that the unity of the couple is manifested in the body of Christ. The connection is alluded to in the wedding story of Cana (Jn 2.1-11). The text is pointing to the climax of the marriage service which brings together the Baptism and Eucharist. The water is transformed into wine, so the life of the sinful human being in transfigured through the presence of Christ into the reality of the kingdom. Our life is transformed once we are united in the bond of matrimony. This explains why today the marriage service done within the full context of the church service is conducted within the entire liturgy. The culmination our our baptismal duty to the church which is to mission to the entire world and this culminates in the partaking of the divine gifts. Unfortunately, many have misunderstood marriage and the majority of all marriages are performed outside of the context of the liturgy.

Even in the early church when the administrative work was missing (before Constantine became emperor the church was not united) the church understood the importance of marriage and the Eucharist. Terturllian writing in the second century writes that marriage is arranged by the church, confirmed by the oblation (Eucharist), sealed by the blessing, and inscribed in heaven by the angels. The church had this understanding that marriage was not only important to civil society (each couple had to be registered a practice that still continues to this day) but their joint participation in the regular Sunday liturgy, in the presence of the entire community (not a private affair as is practiced today) was blessed by the Bishop or priest. The marriage became an eternal union when the Eucharist was distributed to the entire community. Ignatius of Antioch echoes a similar sentiment of Terturllian when he says those who get married must unite with the knowledge of the bishop, so the marriage may be according to the Lord, and not by human desire (Letter to Polycarp 5.2).

What makes a "sacrament" is not necessarily a set of specific, visible gestures, accomplished by a valid minister. The church itself-being a mysterious union of God with his people-is the sacrament as St. Paul talks about the mystery of salvation (Eph 3). When the union of marriage is done, this is indeed "sacrament", for the mystery of salvation is applied to the individual commitment. But all these "sacraments" are completed in the Eucharist. The Eucharist is itself a wedding feast as St. Paul reminds the community in Corinth that separating the table of thanksgiving is a mistake that needs to be corrects (1 Cor 11). After the wedding ceremony the couple are constantly working out their salvation in the body of Christ. Elder Elisha of Simonopetra tells us that marriage is a great sacrifice. This sacrifice is realized through the life of prayer. As prayer unites us to God our marriage unites us also to God through our struggles and pains within the marriage life. If we come to understand marriage through the lens of the Eucharist then and only then will a marriage be able to be made holy for the life of the world. But if we continue to think that marriage is based on materialistic (what kind of job they have and how much property do they own) objects then the 50 percent divorce rate (In the west countries) will continue to rise.    

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Therefore, don’t think that you aren’t praying. You pray daily, if for the sole reason that you have decided to offer yourselves to God, and to live apart, against the worldly mindset. Thus you should know that this constitutes prayer. This is prayer. Prayer is when I become a monk, to offer myself to God. This is prayer.

You pray when you offer yourself to the church and as a sacrifice towards each other within marriage. One who gets married, therefore, in his married life, is a prototype. Marriage is a return to the former state in Paradise, in other words. It is to offer yourself in the married life, for what does it do? To offer myself to someone else is to sacrifice myself for the other.

No one can distinguish the lay person from the monk, for what are they? Being a monk is a return to a former state, in other words, that of Paradise, without compromises.

We sell our freedom to God, because God is our freedom.  

Elder Eliseus (Elisha) of Simonopetra on Sacrifice in Marriage and Monasticism